Me and Chairman Mao

Six Strange Months in Beijing

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 10:01:00 -0800

Yak butter tea.
Heineken Christmas trees.
Tigers eating chickens.
Me and Chairman Mao. Stories from six strange months in Beijing.

Lately, it seems like China is all we hear about. How China will crush the rest of the world economically, demographically, and possibly even militarily, if their pollution doesn’t kill off the entire West coast first. That’s all well and good, but what’s everyday life in China really like? When Jason Barbacovi moved to Beijing, he had no idea. However, after stumbling into a $60-an-hour job that involved nothing more than reading words into a microphone, discovering that waiting in line can be a contact sport, and paying to have a live chicken fed to a pack of ravenous tigers, he discovered that the answer is nothing like you think.

“If David Sedaris lived in China, this is the book he would write.”

Buy the Book
Now that you want to buy the book—how can you not, after the description above?—here are all the places where you can do just that. Links go right to the site in question for your convenience:

Sample Chapters
Not quite sure? Here are a few full sample chapters for you to check out before buying:

It’s true—at one time, there was a Starbucks right...

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 07:43:09 -0700

It’s true—at one time, there was a Starbucks right in the middle of the Forbidden City. Sadly, at some point after I left the government forced them to remove it—apparently because a 20 year old coffee chain in the middle of a 500 year old palace built by a civilization that is 5,000 years old (give or take a few centuries) is too threatening to Chinese culture.

Apparently KFC at the Great Wall is cool, though. Which make sense—I mean, people have to eat. Plus, who doesn’t want to chow down on a bucket of greasy fried chicken after—or even before!—spending an hour or two admiring one of the true wonders of the world?

Like oh-so-many things in China, it just makes sense …

Via Peter Hessler. The image is a bit small, but the silver...

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 11:11:45 -0700

Via Peter Hessler. The image is a bit small, but the silver signs say Urine (#1) and Dump (#2, obviously.) Awesome.

Obama + Mao = Obamao! Get it? I hope so. (Although if you...

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 21:07:21 -0700

Obama + Mao = Obamao! Get it? I hope so. (Although if you don’t, you may in fact believe that Obama is a secret Muslim and/or secret terrorist.) Anyway, my next book clearly needs to be Me and Chairman Obamao. It’s got a nice ring to it. I’ll let you know how it’s going once I move to DC …

For the doubters: close-up of the beer Christmas tree.

Thu, 10 Mar 2011 14:09:00 -0800

For the doubters: close-up of the beer Christmas tree.

Found in a Beijing mall: a Christmas tree made entirely out of...

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 12:23:00 -0800

Found in a Beijing mall: a Christmas tree made entirely out of beer bottles. It would make for a pretty merry Christmas Eve, if nothing else. (Read about this tree and more in “A Christmas Story.”)

Things to do in Harbin. (Coincidentally, I happened to write a...

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 05:59:00 -0800

Things to do in Harbin.

(Coincidentally, I happened to write a story about this experience, “Fowl Play.” You can, also coincidentally, find it in my book …)

Easy-to-follow instructions.

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 09:51:00 -0800

Easy-to-follow instructions.

Excerpt From "A Christmas Story"

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 13:14:00 -0800

ME: Do you know who Jesus Christ is?
The question made me feel a little strange, since I have never been too comfortable with religion. As I always say, Jesus is dead and God is forgiving, so screw everything else and sin away. As a result—in my mind, at least—five minutes after asking a question about someone’s knowledge of Jesus, you’re inviting the person you’re with to drop down onto his or her knees and praise the Lord with you, and ten minutes after that you’re going over to their house to burn their collection of Harry Potter books, which we all know promote witchcraft. And wizardry.
HIM: No.
ME: You’ve never heard of Jesus?
HIM: No.
This was going to be harder than I thought.
ME: Have you ever seen a picture of a guy on a cross, like this?
I drew a quick stick-figure person on a cross, which itself consisted of two overlapping sticks, so that the entire thing looked like a hangman game gone terribly wrong.

Just to be clear …

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 16:01:00 -0800

Just to be clear …